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hotelvalentine:

When you call your personal shellfish salesman and order atlantic lobster caught fresh straight from nova scotia for your homemade lobster bisque

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squidwurd:

i got an email from google saying my ads were disabled because i violated their policy by having “adult or mature content” on my blog and this was the picture they said was the violation

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barebackinq:

cumber-collectable:

barebackinq:

petal-winters:

barebackinq:

The girl who was my elementary school girl friend just got engaged and I’m sitting here single wearing a pug shirt and hamburger underwear

Just remember, u r someone’s dream girl

I’m a boy

Tumblr has made us forget that some people are actually straight

I’m gay


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lisavanderpoop:

teengrrrlsquad:

Right now: there’s a hole in the floor and we can see the class below us so we tied a cheeto to a piece of yarn and we’re trying to communicate with this girl but so far she hasn’t noticed

what the fuck kind of broke ass school do you go to
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rupindah:

do you ever think about how weird sleeping is like your body just gets so sluggish it shuts down and you enter a state of unconsciousness where you have vague hallucinations and when you wake up you forget everything about it and a third of your life is wasted on it


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